With apologies to Frank O’Hara

Marie Osmond has collapsed!

I was sitting there and suddenly

she started dancing and cha-cha-ing

and you said it was mambo-ing

but mambo-ing makes you move

different so it was really cha-cha-ing and

dancing and I was in such a hurry

to meet you but the traffic

was acting exactly like ‘Dancing with the Stars’

and suddenly I see a headline

MARIE OSMOND HAS COLLAPSED!

there is no snow in Chicago (yet)

there is no rain in Illinois

I have been to lots of dances

and acted perfectly disgraceful

but I never actually collapsed

oh Marie Osmond we love you get up